Kayin

Kayin has always been reluctant to talk about his past with those he never knew all to well, paranoia and distrust foremost in his mind; where outsiders were concerned.More so than that, Kayin - through out the majority of his existence has had scant little left to his memory to speak on; where his past is concered for one reason or another.

Indeed, Kayin has time and again has found himself in a cycle of forgetting and losing what he holds most dear. 

In the past, there have ben scant few individuals who have ever learned the turth of his life. Even then, the truth has always seemed far from the total truth of who he is.

 That being said, there are parts of Kayin's life he no longer can recall. Perhaps out of guilt, perhaps something closer to heart even. Truly, his life is lived constantly in the moment; as that is all he has remaining to him.  That is not to say that he doesnt often do whatever he can to regain what simple and distant memories have been lost; but cut off from those memories he is time and again forced to repeat the mistakes of the past in the vain hope he can one day break the cycle.

Kayin has suffered, that goes without saying. All suffer, that is a part of life.  But his is a unique loneliness that he can and will never share with any other.  And for it, he has never been quite whole.

Kayin once lived a normal man, despite being anythingbut. That, now, is the mask he wears. The mask he remembers best.  Kayin tread down the path of destruction, unbeknownst to him that he was being manipulated, every action, every step not his own.  In time, he understood and saw more than any one could have ever guessed, than any mortal could ever comprehend.

It broke him. It destroyed him. And in it, he was remade through the fire and suffering.  He sinned. The gravest of sins.  And for it he was punishment. A mistake, that was suppose to fade away, presisted and so he marched on; removed from the world he knew so well, with the relization that he was never who he thought he was. And soon, as time passed before him in the blink of an eye, he forgot, losing his connections to his humanity, sustained only by those ingrained memories of his life before.

 Time and again, Kayin has tread his life's path, as it is before him. Time and again repeating the same mistakes, creating the same cycle of relationships and events that made up his life countless Ages ago.  Removed from the world around him, estranged from others, he has only the emptiness of his life, the lives he has lived through and the life he treads now - hollow actions without the recollection of when or why.

A long Journey. Interesting people. A good fire and story. New friends, new faces, people who need guidence. People who are truly open, truly unique. 

And, of course:

Pie and Ice Cream. Who doesn't like Pe and Ice cream?

Ignorance, willful or otherwise.

Accepting the world for what it is.

Attempting to enforce ones views and will upon others.

Kayin has many complixities, many odd mannerisms as he is a very odd invidual. Hes seen more than he ever wanted to, and like all things, its left scars. For better or for worse, one of the ways in which he protects himself from such pain is by forgetting scuh events.  Though one could never forget, the memories bury themselves down deep.  It is not always bechoice that he does this, these memories supressed and hidden by a deep seeded unconcious desire to protect what little sanity he has left.

When Kayin was first brought into the world, was given flesh of form and a voice, a mind with which to think, Kayin spent a great  deal of time as a warrior.  He killed, like many, for others. For himself. For beliefs, for ideals, for revenge.  But all that passed, as it so often does as people grow older.  He became a man, no longer a pup; content to live for his beliefs, rather than die for them.  After coming to the realization that there would always be fights, no matter how hard one fought to stop them, he sought a new means to live, trying to live without fighting, leaving a part of himself somewhere behind. This marked the beginning of his wandering period, for how long - none could say. Again and again, he was brought back to the same events of the life he lived, the lives he had already tread.  Time and time again he found memories left along the path he tread, and time and again he lost those memories regained, as a consequence for his actions.

 It is fair to say that Kayin is a being, that like the world, moves in a circular manner, repeating the events of the past on different stages, cycling from one self to the next and so on, growing as he has before only to regress eventually back to his orginal state.  It is a cycle that has sustained him for countless ages - wether he know it or not.

Those he onced calle family are all gone or dead, long ago. The few freinds he has are far away, though never far from his mind. They exist now, only as feint whispers in his memory.  Something he dearly, desprately wishes to have returned, to find with which to make himself whole again.

 Its was time to start anew.And now the cycle has once again begun.

In recent days Kayin has met many new people, some more so than others.

Pharah - And old aquaintance, who saved him, in more ways than one. He has always supported her, always protected her as best he could, despite his obvious short comings. 

Kristine - What cant be said about the Kind Knight.  Of the people Kayin has thus far met she has had a great and profound impact on him.  She opened him up, for just a moment.  Kayin, in an attempt to break the cycle, reached out to Kristine - and for it  nearly lost himself. Now, once more, he reaches out to this woman who is caugth in the center of Fate's web

Thala -Kristine's daughter. Now no longer  a child, someone in which Kayin sees all things possible. She is of great importance to him, and he cares for her deeply - like a daughter.  She had a sgood heart though, like a child, is often completely reckless. In her actions she shows her age.  Though Kayin has a special likeness to her, as she reminded him of  himself so long ago. 

 Anne: Like Kristine, she too is close to Kayin and side by side with Kristine.  She too caught in the web.

Shade - Time and again Kayin has traveled in circles through his life.  Shade, has time and again been there.  It is unmistakebly clear that they share a history, a past. At the most basic of all levels.  The more time Kayin spent around her, the more memories have come back,   Though their bonds have only begun to develop, there is much left to be said.  Kayin had been close, once, to understand who she was, who she is to him.  But for the life of another, he gave it up; leaving a hole within his heart.

Nessa: Nessa, his charge, his to protect.  He has failed her before, watched her rise again. His past has revolved around her quite often, and they both have a history that takes them back, past memory.  Secrets given, secrets kept. Regrets always burning.

Rishi: Recently rescued and taken into Protection.  She is far too like Kayin for him to ever abandon her.

Minx Kayin was once hunted by her, for reasons that are beyond explanation.  It ended in violence; after which he gave her something of himself so that she would be whole. 

Anubis - Chill friend.    

Fen is always there for a good chat

CW was one of the first people he met. 

Isby is a close friend and confidant, though they make an unlikely team. When these two decide on something, it is best to be not in the way.

Guy seems a kind bard, or another lost traveler.

Rayney : Kayin recently met her, and knew that she too was in need of guidence. But for the first time in his memory, he found that another had gudience for him. More than that, he was shocked by the revelation she carried.  She changed everything.

Akasha : Kayin and Akasha go back, nearly to the beginning. A comrade. A close friend. One of the few women he has ever let into his life. She understands him uniquely.  

Akemi: Of all the people in his life. Of all the people he has ever met. This is the one person who has scared him the most. Terrified him beyond imagining.  He knew her, once, and still deep down, beyond memory he knows her still. She is his true daughter.  Her secret, her knowlege is dangerous beyond understand.  It has the power to free him. The power to damn him.