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[Y] Post Trauma Chapter 1
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Sexuality N/A
Submitted On Jan30/10
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Summary:
The world has ended and three countrys have begun to revive civility.
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The black and red feline applied pressure to the object and an arm snapped forword. The feline purred with delight and used the straps attached to the object to strap it to his arm. The feline applied pressure with his forearm and the arm snapped forword again. The feline pulled a pistol from his side holster and strapped it to the arm. "Charlie! We're heading out!"
Charlie raised his head and grabbed a second of the object and put it in his pack. once he stood up he saw a white female wolf with a gas mask around her muzzle, A tight leather jacket, and tight jeans. approaching him. "Find anything?" she asked.
"I found something but it's my pay for this job."
"What was it?"
"Something to conceal a weapon."
"Could be useful," she said as she turned and began to walk out of the army surplus store. Charlie stood up and followed her out into the dust strapping his own gas mask back on. He stood next to her as she called on her radio "Alrigh...
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[Aaralyn Mcalister]
[ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ][ ]
Feb4/10 14:03:07
Watch your punctuation, but great story line. It felt rushed and definitely could become a great series if you slowed down your details. On the topic of details you do a very decent job being creative with it, which I love seeing. You have a exstensive vocabulary and it shows. Once again it just felt very rushed. Take your time and feel your writing out. Write for both yourself and the reader. You'll get more responsivness from the people who take the time to look at the story if you do. ^.^

Great Job overall though!
~Aaralyn~
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